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CRITIC

May 14, 2018

78

From a balcony at the six-month-

old SLS hotel in the Bahamas,

there’s an expansive view of the

main grounds of the Baha Mar

resort: Clusters of palms, rows of

sherbet-colored chaise longues,

crisp white umbrellas, and slivers

of turquoise pools. Beyond lies

the beach and the ombré ocean.

It looks like heaven. And it can

sound like hell.

Baha Mar, now humming with

guests from around the globe

enjoying its play pools and daytime dance parties, has been

opening in phases since April 2017. That’s more than a decade

after developer Sarkis Izmirlian promised the rebirth of

Cable Beach, a prime stretch 5 miles from downtown Nassau.

With six hotels, 50 restaurants, a casino, and a Jack Nicklaus-

designed golf course, the megaresort was expected to generate

12 percent of the Bahamas’ gross domestic product.

The so-called “new Riviera” cost more than $4 billion, mak-

ing it the largest and most expensive resort in the Caribbean.

In 2015 it went bust, a victim of bad timing, overspending,

and allegations of contractor malfeasance. A bailout came

the following year, when Hong Kong-based Chow Tai Fook

Enterprises Ltd., the owner of Rosewood Hotel Group, bought

the whole property out of bankruptcy. At the time, it was

90 percent inished. And 100 percent vacant.

Now, electronica thumps from the SLS’s adults-only

“Privilege” pool, where revelers do bottle-service-fueled

dances on reserved daybeds. The

untz-untz

knocks up against

the sounds of Beyoncé playing at the long, slim Bungalow

pool next door, where bachelorettes in coordinated bikinis

day-drink on pastel chaises. The families staying at the Grand

Hyatt (rooms from $225) cluster around other pools nearby

with their own soundtracks, including one with windows

looking onto the property’s shark-illed mini-aquarium and

another equipped with “rain cabanas” whose walls are made

from streams of water.

With a staggering 2,300 guest rooms, Baha Mar needs to be

all things to all people. Doing that without feeling generic—a

word that’s become anathema to hoteliers—is a tall order.

PHOTOGRAPH COURTESY GRAND HYATT BAHA MAR

Yet Baha Mar seems to be suc-

ceeding. The convenient location

helps: You can have breakfast in

New York and lunch at the resort.

There’s no need to leave the

grounds, where you’ll ind golf,

tennis, baccarat tables, a kids club,

and dozens of restaurants. There

are even lashes of Bahamian cul-

ture, like a conch shack. The lux-

ury of so much choice feels fun

and indulgent—and not too tacky.

Despite the high-proile bank-

ruptcy still visible in the resort’s rear-view mirror, business is

brisk. “We’ve exploded our budget every month,” says Charles

Dessert, marketing manager for the SLS (rooms from $355). His

hotel and the year-old Grand Hyatt have at times been sold out.

And with drinks at $21 a pop and a 100,000-square-foot casino,

there’s plenty of revenue to be made.

But the magic begins to wear of after a few days. The myr-

iad themed areas and their background noise devolve from a

carefully orchestrated fantasy to a cacophony of hospitality.

The design throws together concrete towers, tile roofs, and

colonial gingerbread trim. Dining options include a Starbucks,

a French-style bakery, a Mexican taco truck, a Chinese noodle

shop, and a dimly lit English pub.

There’s arguably one unifying thread (besides the cake-lour

beach) at Baha Mar: Instagram. At Privilege, a blonde in cherry-

red sunglasses and a matching swimsuit seeks the right angle

for her pool selie. A few feet away, another woman reclines

for a shot in a lamingo loatie. A hot-pink Airstream food truck

near the pier awaits further perfect photos. Online, without

the real-life noise, they’ll look vivid and serene.

Actual serenity may come in June, when a high-end

Rosewood hotel opens. Known for sophisticated spots such

as the Carlyle in New York and Hôtel de Crillon in Paris,

Rosewood aims to have its ofering feel disconnected from

the rest of the resort. The only way to reach the other facili-

ties will be to walk along the beach.

“It will feel like an island estate home,” says Luigi

Romaniello, managing director for the property. Just one with

1,500 slot machines at hand and a water park to come.

The enormous $4 billion Baha Mar resort filed for bankruptcy

in 2015, a failure before it ever welcomed a single guest.

Now it’s open—and business is booming. By Sara Clemence

P A R A D I S E , M A N U F A C T U R E D

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